I am a mom of two, and sometimes I feel more like a referee than a parent. And I lose my cool when they are behaving badly, and do things I am not proud of, like yell at them. And I am working on it, so if you have yelled at your kids, I will not judge, it happens, but I always apologies to my kids, and tell them that I will do my best not to do that anymore.
So here is what I learned are Doe’s and Don’ts when disciplining your kids. Keep in mind that we are all humans, and we make mistakes, and we are here to learn as go, so I am not shaming anyone.
It easy to lose you cool and start shouting, but all that does is show your kids that losing your temper is ok. Because they learn by example, and at that moment you are not being a great role model.
Set age-appropriate limits.
Explain to your child what your expectation is, and make sure that they are reasonable according to your child’s age and maturity.
Give your child affection and attention.
Sometimes when kids act out, they are only seeking the attention they maybe don’t get from you. So make sure that that you give them enough attention and love as they need.
Praise your child when it’s doing something good.
Make sure to notice and praise them when they do something good because your loving attention will reinforce good behavior.
Set appropriate consequences for bad behavior.
You should set appropriate consequences for bad behavior and stick to them. That way, the child will know that by breaking the rules, there will be consequences.
Call a time-out.
Time out should be called after you have given your child a warning. That time should be spent quietly in another room. Make sure to be calm when you send them in time-out, so they know that it’s time to calm down.
And Don’t do this:
Don’t bribe them.
Bribing is never a good idea when disciplining your child because they will expect a reward every time they behave well.
Being inconsistent with your punishments.
When you reinforce the rules, you have to be consistent with it. That means there are are no bending the rules, or your child may be confused with what is expectable behavior and what’s not.
No discipline whatsoever.
If there is no discipline, and rules for your kids, you are going to end up with kids that have no boundaries, and can’t differentiate good behavior from the bed.
Publicly shame your kids.
Publicly shaming your kids is never a good idea. And they will learn nothing from that. Instead of publicly shaming them for their behavior, wait until you alone with them and explain that what they did was not ok, and explain why it was not ok.
Try not to lose your temper.
This is the hard rule, but when you discipline your kid, try to remain as calm as you can. If they are shouting, try lowering your voice, it will eventually make them want to stop yelling and listen to what you have to say.
I hope you find this list helpful. And don’t forget, we all make mistakes, and that doesn’t mean that you are a bad parent. We live, and we learn, so as long as you are trying your best to be a better parent, that’s all that matters. Hey, you are reading this list, so that already makes you a great parent, and I want you to know, that you’ve got this.